Category Archives: Opinions

This is about my period, full stop

Logo for the TV show True Blood, consisting of the first word in black angular letters, the second in red, on a pale grey background.Periods periods periods periods periods. Bloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood.

OK, the squeamish people should have left us now.

I’m super impressed that Mad Men showed us Sally Draper’s first period, but mine was nothing like that. Instead of the bright red stain I was expecting, I got a small brown smear. I was 11, and I had no idea what it was. After worrying for a while, I told my mum that I had something weird going on in the knicker department, and she gently broke it to me that this was my period. Continue reading This is about my period, full stop

Jealous, much?

Close-up photo of two gulls hovering close to the water. One has a chunk of bread in their beak, while the other looks on, surprised and horrified. A small caption says "Damn it."Can we all just admit there are moments when we’re filled with raging, bitter, foot-stomping, fist-curling, about-to-cry jealousy? Yes, technically I’m talking about envy, but jealousy sounds so much nastier, so much more base, so much more accurate.

Recently, I started counting how many people I’m jealous of. I had to stop when I got to 40, because I’m a grown woman and that’s ridiculous. But I’ve felt so jealous of people who have things I want NEED that I’ve wanted to punch something. I’ve burst into tears. I’ve felt like I was worthless. And I feel like it’s really not OK to admit it. Continue reading Jealous, much?

I’m not going to care what anyone else thinks, and I mean it this time

Two men and a woman (all white) sit at a shiny conference table, deep in discussion. The word "Shh" appears in large black letters over the top of them. Well. It’s been a while. I kept meaning to blog, but as I picked up a little more work and tried to fit in other writing, and felt ill, and FINALLY started watching Mad Men… I didn’t. But lack of time is only part of the reason.

The other part is that I was a wimp.

Continue reading I’m not going to care what anyone else thinks, and I mean it this time

This is why I’m fat*

Close up of a small, fat gold Buddha statue on a shelf, some books behind him (titles not visible). *I’m using this as a judgement-free descriptor like “brunette”, not as an insult.

Dieting

Diets don’t work. I know this. But I still went on one a few years ago. It wasn’t to lose weight, which allowed me to feel superior — it was to detox from sugar in an attempt to improve my health. (I failed, which allowed me to feel inferior again.)

Continue reading This is why I’m fat*

I’ve discovered the secret to happiness, and it’s HORRIBLE

Close up of a little girl's legs and feet, in leggings and ballet shoes. Her feet are turned out, and a caption (blue on light grey) says "TURN. IT. OUT."Turn it out. That’s it. It’s as simple and as awful as that. This isn’t advice (more of a note to self) but if my experience of depression has taught me anything about happiness it’s that one way to cultivate more of it might be to STOP THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF ALL THE DAMN TIME, DIANE.

Continue reading I’ve discovered the secret to happiness, and it’s HORRIBLE

Can we be honest? (No, really. Can we?)

Xray of left side of chest, very bright in the centre, on lower part of spine.One night a few years ago, a friend called to invite me to her birthday party. She was gathering a large group of people, none of whom I knew, and going for a meal. She wanted to book a table the next day so she needed me to tell her right there, right then, if I was in.

Was I in?

Continue reading Can we be honest? (No, really. Can we?)

Why most advice is awful (yep, even yours)

Half of image features empty table and chairs on a beach, with sign above saying "Free advice". Other half is grey background with sky blue lettering saying "No takers, huh?"
I used to follow a blog written by a woman in her mid-twenties that was funny, moving, and finely-crafted. Then one day I clicked on her latest post and discovered that this blogger who was younger than me (!!) was telling me how to eat.

With no knowledge of my circumstances or tastes, and no qualifications in nutritional counselling, she’d decided to forgo her usual personal stories in favour of lecturing me and the rest of her readers about saturated fats. I can’t be the only one who clicked away thinking I’ve already heard of vegetables, thanks.

She may have been my first, but she certainly wasn’t my last.

Continue reading Why most advice is awful (yep, even yours)