Some humiliations shared

Black background with tiny banana peel in lower right corner.You might have noticed the name of this blog. It’s a phrase I thought of back in 2006, when Amber shared an embarrassing incident and I said something like, “At least blogging means no humiliation is wasted.” That’s been my approach to writing in general for at least the last decade – that whenever something stupid or cringeworthy or life-changingly horrendous happens, at least I can write about it.

Continue reading Some humiliations shared

This is about my period, full stop

Logo for the TV show True Blood, consisting of the first word in black angular letters, the second in red, on a pale grey background.Periods periods periods periods periods. Bloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood.

OK, the squeamish people should have left us now.

I’m super impressed that Mad Men showed us Sally Draper’s first period, but mine was nothing like that. Instead of the bright red stain I was expecting, I got a small brown smear. I was 11, and I had no idea what it was. After worrying for a while, I told my mum that I had something weird going on in the knicker department, and she gently broke it to me that this was my period. Continue reading This is about my period, full stop

Why being positive every day is one of the worst things I’ve ever done

Close up of a red parking meter which instead of the standard money amounts, says POSITIVE CHANGE.At the start of the year, I decided to recommend something new every day on my Tumblr. I started with the book I was reading at the time, and went on to talk up essays, songs, podcasts, films, and people whose writing I love. (You can see all my recommendations here.)

My reasons for doing this were simple. I wanted to force myself to be positive on social media, on a daily basis, instead of taking days off when I feel low, or worse, passive-aggressively grumping it up on Twitter and Facebook. I also wanted to have a daily commitment, like one of those people who publishes a bestselling book or gives up their job to write a blog and a movie about how they changed one small thing and became less self-obsessed and now here they are in a mansion by the sea feeling more fulfilled than they ever thought possible. Continue reading Why being positive every day is one of the worst things I’ve ever done

Jealous, much?

Close-up photo of two gulls hovering close to the water. One has a chunk of bread in their beak, while the other looks on, surprised and horrified. A small caption says "Damn it."Can we all just admit there are moments when we’re filled with raging, bitter, foot-stomping, fist-curling, about-to-cry jealousy? Yes, technically I’m talking about envy, but jealousy sounds so much nastier, so much more base, so much more accurate.

Recently, I started counting how many people I’m jealous of. I had to stop when I got to 40, because I’m a grown woman and that’s ridiculous. But I’ve felt so jealous of people who have things I want NEED that I’ve wanted to punch something. I’ve burst into tears. I’ve felt like I was worthless. And I feel like it’s really not OK to admit it. Continue reading Jealous, much?

A lesson in banking and calming the hell down, in which I come across brilliantly

Close-up on statue of man with head in hand, blue background..If you’re offended by people talking about money, you might want to look away now because I’m about to get into it. The idea that some topics aren’t “polite” so you should pretend that everything’s great while lugging around your secret shame is so British, and so alienating and stupid. But while I am sharing some stuff, I’m not looking for advice (ever) or handouts (right now). Continue reading A lesson in banking and calming the hell down, in which I come across brilliantly

How do you change? (Yes, YOU. Seriously, HOW?)

Close up of pink piggy bank with red-handled hammer about to smash it.I’ve spent the last year trying to make some big changes in my life, and what I’ve learned is that I can’t stand change and am not very good at it. Which is a bit tricky when you want almost every aspect of your life to be different. Continue reading How do you change? (Yes, YOU. Seriously, HOW?)

I’m not going to care what anyone else thinks, and I mean it this time

Two men and a woman (all white) sit at a shiny conference table, deep in discussion. The word "Shh" appears in large black letters over the top of them. Well. It’s been a while. I kept meaning to blog, but as I picked up a little more work and tried to fit in other writing, and felt ill, and FINALLY started watching Mad Men… I didn’t. But lack of time is only part of the reason.

The other part is that I was a wimp.

Continue reading I’m not going to care what anyone else thinks, and I mean it this time

This is why I’m fat*

Close up of a small, fat gold Buddha statue on a shelf, some books behind him (titles not visible). *I’m using this as a judgement-free descriptor like “brunette”, not as an insult.


Diets don’t work. I know this. But I still went on one a few years ago. It wasn’t to lose weight, which allowed me to feel superior — it was to detox from sugar in an attempt to improve my health. (I failed, which allowed me to feel inferior again.)

Continue reading This is why I’m fat*

I need to be less movie-stupid: what should I watch?

Close up of old-fashioned red cinema ticket which says ADMIT ONE, on a blue background with a little popcorn at the edges of the photo.As I might have mentioned, I want to change almost everything about my life, from getting more work to having better health to becoming someone who doesn’t have to fight the urge to claw her face off in any social situation. I’d like to be “normal”.

But that doesn’t mean I only want to change big, scary important things. I want to try ridiculous/kooky/lighthearted potentially life-improving stuff, too. (If you have any suggestions, especially if they’re cheap, please email me.)

I also realise that there are a lot movies that I really, really, really should have seen. Continue reading I need to be less movie-stupid: what should I watch?